Teenage Love Relationship We have spoken in the past of how, if we take an 'adult' approach to what might be called romance relationships (I use the term loosely), love can seem childish or even meaningless. But there are reasons why one partner may find a romantic relationship with another – for example, a mother who sees her child playing as she walks home from school and wants to keep them company whilst they do so; both parents wanting to spend time together outside their marriage at weekends due that such things become more frequent now but would prefer not to get too involved because it will affect all aspects going forward - whether he/she feels like becoming engaged late The prospect of your teen beginning to date is of course unnerving. It is easy to fear your child getting hurt, getting in over their head, being manipulated or heartbroken, and particularly, growing up and leaving the nest. But as uncomfortable or scary as it may feel to think about your child with a r...
“Manipulation fueled with good intent can be a blessing. But when used wickedly, it is the beginning of a magician’s karmic calamity”
In plain terms, to manipulate someone is to control or influence that person cleverly or unscrupulously. Like it or not, we have all manipulated a person or a situation for a desirable outcome. Sounds dark but, let me lighten the mood with a story from my mischievous childhood. As a child, I had a habit of conveniently falling sick when I didn’t want to go to school. Initially, my parents would fawn over me whenever this happened. After two emergency trips to the clinic, my mother suspected my antics. The next few times after that, I wasn’t taken to the clinic, but I was allowed to stay home.
During one of my tummy episodes, my friends called me excitedly to inform me that a local actor was coming to the school for a visit. I ran to my mother begging to be taken back to school forgetting that I had “an unbearable tummy ache”. My mum told me she wasn’t going to take any chances and that I was to stay put. No amount of begging or pleading could change her mind. Not even after I admitted to faking my stomach pains. When I got to school the next day, I was green with envy when my friends showed me all the cool things the actor brought for them. Suffice it to say, I never faked sickness to get out of school. This story is just one of many when it comes to the things that we do to manipulate a situation.
I still know of many adults who fake a cold to get a day off work. That is not entirely bad is it? Sometimes, we have been manipulated into making choices that are beneficial for us. A friend gives you a nice pair of running shoes and a one-month subscription to a local gym, you know they want you to step up in the fitness department. Ever showed up at a lunch date with a friend only for a prospective date and a sudden emergency (for your friend of course) to show up? I have been there. Interestingly, when we feel threatened, one of the techniques we employ to get out of that unpleasant situation if bluntforce is not an option is also manipulation.
That is to say, the art of manipulation is part of our nature. However, when it comes to psychological manipulation, things get darker and more sinister. In this situation a person’s actions or thoughts are influenced with the use of underhanded tactics that are either abusive, deceptive or even both. In this context, the person who is being manipulated isn’t given the choice to either accept or reject the will of the manipulator.
They are simply coerced into compliance. Manipulators have their reasons for doing what they do. Sometimes, it is something as basic as getting financial gains like the fictional soldier who duped my neighbor of all her life savings. In the workplace, these people are committed to furthering their own personal agenda even if it would mean ramming a few heads against each other. Their principle is very simple; if you want it, you have to reach out and take it. In relationships, it is usually about getting power and staying in control. The need to be in charge fuels everything they do and sometimes they can go extreme lengths to achieve this. And then you have people who love to manipulate people for recreational purposes. They are just bored, and they use their manipulative games to pass time. It is crude and vicious but, this is just the way they think. One of the most common tactics employed by manipulators is lying.
A master manipulator is skilled in the art of deception. They are adept at coming up with grand stories that have no real bearings on the truth. Or they go for subterfuge and lie by omission. Some people are so good at their lies that you almost never realize the lie until it is too late. Another tactic employed by manipulators is guilt tripping and shaming. When confronted for something they have done wrong they would instantly deny it and then promptly turn the tables around by making you feel bad for questioning them in the first place.
To further strengthen their hold on their victim, they vilify them thus effectively turning the victim into the abuser. You would find this kind of manipulative technique in domestic cases where the abuser would claim that the victim’s character, words or action is what prompted their own behavior in the first place. Other subtle techniques used in manipulation include the use of evasive, non-committal responses to questions asked.
Rationalizing actions if they are caught and spinning the reality to match their narrative. Some manipulators employ sex and seduction to carry out their devious objectives. When caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar, anger and projection of blame are quickly used to manipulate the situation in their favor.However, manipulators are not always random in their selection of prey.
There are specific traits in their victims that attracts them, and certain vulnerabilities also make it easier for the manipulator to perpetrate their crimes. Lonely people with poor self-esteem and an eagerness to please are easier to control than the assertive social type. Although, there are people who exhibit characteristics that are similar to the latter who end up being manipulated as well. For such people, manipulators study their personality flaws and weaknesses before using it against them. Impressionable people are likely to be fooled by appearances.
Brash individuals who tend to make impulsive decisions are more likely to be manipulated into making snap decisions that have long term impact. People who are greedy and materialistic have a higher tendency of being scammed.
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