Teenage Love Relationship We have spoken in the past of how, if we take an 'adult' approach to what might be called romance relationships (I use the term loosely), love can seem childish or even meaningless. But there are reasons why one partner may find a romantic relationship with another – for example, a mother who sees her child playing as she walks home from school and wants to keep them company whilst they do so; both parents wanting to spend time together outside their marriage at weekends due that such things become more frequent now but would prefer not to get too involved because it will affect all aspects going forward - whether he/she feels like becoming engaged late The prospect of your teen beginning to date is of course unnerving. It is easy to fear your child getting hurt, getting in over their head, being manipulated or heartbroken, and particularly, growing up and leaving the nest. But as uncomfortable or scary as it may feel to think about your child with a r...
“Just because something isn’t a lie, doesn’t mean that it isn’t deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar. But one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.”
Deception is defined as the act of hiding the truth, especially to gain an advantage. This may seem like manipulation but, there is a distinct difference. Deception is often employed in the act of manipulation and is one of the many layers in a manipulators scheme. The goal of deception is to fool and trick the other party. While manipulation is much deeper than that, it does not negate the adverse effects of deception.
A lie may take a long time before it is uncovered but when it is, the damage and destruction it leaves behind in its wake can be devastating. I know the story of a man who had been married for over 25years. That marriage produced 3 children between the ages of 11 and 17. All was rosy for the family.
The kids went to the best schools, enjoyed the luxuries of life thanks to the wealth obtained through years of hard and resilience on the part of the man. He spoiled his children by ensuring that whatever it is they needed, he provided. And who could blame him? For the first 7 years of their marriage, the couple was unable to conceive.
They sought the help of specialists, spiritualists and even tried a few unorthodox practices all to no avail. At a point in the marriage when things were at an all-time low, his wife got pregnant. He was overjoyed. When the couple added two more children to the family, it felt as though things could not get any better, but they did. His wealth grew exponentially, and the timing was perfect. One day, the couple got a call that their eldest was involved in an accident.
A lifesaving operation that involved the donation of an organ was required. In the process of donating his organ to save his child, he got to uncover the terrible secret his wife had kept for many years. The child was not his. In fact, none of the children were his. Broken, hurt and ashamed, he took his own life but not without cutting off his wife and children from his wealth. This deception started out as a lie to one person but at the end of the day, 5 people (including the deceiver) were affected by it. Not to mention the pain that would be experienced by theextended family, friends and colleagues.
In another situation, a young startup firm recruited the services of an accountant to handle their financial affairs. The owner of the startup quickly grew fond of this young accountant. It was a strictly business relationship but there was a sense of friendship there too. As the company grew and expanded their operations, the business owner turned most of the administrative responsibilities to the accountant. He proved competent and was entrusted with even more responsibilities. These responsibilities came with lots of perks and benefits and for a while, things were looking good. But when a failed transaction prompted a quick check on the company’s records, the owner was not prepared for the revelation that unfolded. Over the years, he and his company had been systematically robbed to the point where the company’s accounts were in the red.
The accountant fled and he was left to clean up. Within months, the company folded up. 43 people lost their jobs, the business owner lost all of his investment and his ability to trust. The crude thing about deception is that it is built on the very emotion that is essential for human relationship…trust. For an act of deception to work, a form of relationship has to be established between the deceiver and the victim.
The greater the trust, the greater the betrayal. And when there is a deep betrayal, the destructive impact often goes beyond the two individuals involved. However, deception isn't always something that is done to others. Sometimes, it is the lies we tell ourselves. We justify certain actions with the deep lies we tell ourselves. Just like manipulation, lying is also something that everyone does.
Some of us may have developed certain moral principles that make it difficult for us to tell blatant lies or associate with people who do so. But it doesn't stop us from telling lies albeit "little" lies. Knowing the answer to a question but choosing to deny knowledge of it in a bid to preserve one's social grace is a lie. Let me explain, let’s say you witnessed your boss toss your colleague’s project [something that they worked really hard for] in the trash and you listened as they talked extensively on how horrible he or she thinks the idea is. You hum and ham and then you leave the office only to be confronted by the said colleague who enquires about the boss’ thoughts on the project. Telling the truth in this instance would do more harm than good. And so, you lie. Your intention to deceive your colleague was for their own. In dark psychology, the intent to deceive presents more benefits to the deceiver than it does to the victim.
As mentioned earlier, manipulators use deception to strengthen their hold on their victims. For deceivers, the deception gives them an opening into developing a relationship with the victim. The goal is to exploit this relationship for their benefits. One of the most recent forms of deception employed today is deceptive affection. People claiming to feel more love or emotion for you than they actually do. There are not many things that one can use to describe the feeling of being told that someone loves you. This is especially gratifying for people who have craved this experience. The deceiver gets the benefits of declaring this false affection in the form of trust, sex and sometimes money.
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